The Holy Relationship

For an unholy relationship is based on differences, where each one thinks the other has what he has not. They come together, each to complete himself and rob the other. They stay until they think that there is nothing left to steal, and then move on. And so they wander through a world of strangers, unlike themselves, living with their bodies perhaps under a common roof that shelters neither; in the same room and yet a world apart.

A holy relationship starts from a different premise. Each one has looked within and seen no lack. Accepting his completion, he would extend it by joining with another, WHOLE AS HIMSELF.

-From A Return to Love  by Marianne Williamson. (pp.114-115)


Other major points I took away from the book:

  • In the holy relationship, it’s understood that we all have unhealed places, and that healing is the purpose of our being with another person. We don’t try to hide our weaknesses, but rather we understand that the relationship is a context for healing through mutual forgiveness.
  • Adam and Eve were naked in the garden of Eden but not embarrassed. That doesn’t mean they were physically naked. It means they were emotionally naked, totally real and honest, yet they were not embarrassed because they felt accepted completely for who they are.
  • Our fearful places have to be revealed before they can be healed. Darkness is to be brought to light. If a relationship allows us to merely avoid our unhealed places, then we’re hiding there, not growing.
  • Real support is when we help one another see beyond someone’s errors, to drop our judgments and see the love that lies beyond.
  • The ego seeks to use a relationship to fill our needs as we define them; the Holy Spirit asks that the relationship be used by God to serve His purposes. And His purpose is always that we might learn how to love others more purely. We love purely when we release other people to be who they are.
  • In the holy relationship, we don’t seek to change someone, but rather to see how beautiful they already are.
  • We must reveal ourselves at the deepest level in order to find out how lovable we really are.
  • A holy relationship is this: “a common state of mind, where both give errors gladly to correction, that both may happily be healed as one.”

-Lines excerpt from the book: A Return of Love by Marianne Williamson.





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