Sunday. 04/06/14. 10:40PM.
Today I’m suppose to work on my scholarship applications, but then I procrastinated so now I don’t have any time left. Sigh.
It’s just weird. It kind of gives me feels, these scholarship apps. I don’t know to describe this feeling, but it somehow makes me feel like a mix between sad and hopeful. Hopeful that I could get one of these, but sad because if you look at my history, I don’t have any school participation/s listed. It makes me cringe at myself. Knowing that on the past 3 years of my life, I’ve done basically nothing in my high school. It’s sad. Especially because most of the scholarships criteria include school activities/participation. I want to blame myself but at the same time, I feel like I shouldn’t. The past 3 years were hard enough excluding school.
I honestly wish that I’ve been more active in my high school (from grade 9 to grade 12). If only I could take back time. I would’ve told my old self to be more courageous, to have more confidence and trust of myself, and most importantly, to have more faith in God.
But past is past. Some things are worth reminiscing, some are just worth forgetting. And all the regrets and mistakes must be put out of the mind now. I just really hope and pray, that despite my lack of school participation, I could still get at least one scholarship. Jesus take the wheel.