What boys and girls say

I was just reading this small book given for free by some volunteer group on the streets and it is titled, “Questions young people ask, Answers that work” and the book obviously contains answers to the most common questions of teenagers these days.


At first, I thought it may contain just shallow answers and it may not be good, (besides where can you get a good book for free) but then I realized that it’s not that bad. Their answers make sense and I think they’re quite helpful. They also supported their answers with the Bible by using verses, scriptures, stories from the Bible, and etc.

I started reading just today and I browsed the table of contents.. and three topics stood out first to me. I’m not sure why but maybe because they are real life questions that apply to every (or most) young people like me. These are things that I think most teenagers are curious about, whether we admit it or not. The three topics were “Why don’t boys like me?” , “Why don’t girls like me” , and “How do I know if it’s Real Love?”. I found them most interesting and so I went to read those pages.

On the first topic under “Why don’t boys like me?” , I read things that I never knew before and some kind of surprised me because they were from the views of the boys and that I’ve never thought about. And here are some of the quotes from the book about what boys say:

“I find it attractive when a girl is able to form opinions for herself, when she seems to have the inner conviction that she’s a person in her own right.” — James

“I admit that I’m often initially attracted to pretty girls. But that can quickly cool off if the girl doesn’t have some definite, worthwhile goals. On the other hand, if she knows what she wants to do with her life — especially if she has already reached some of her goals — that can make her very attractive.” – Damien

“I’d be interested in a girl who can express herself in an honest, respectful way, and who doesn’t just agree with everything I say. Even if she’s pretty, I don’t feel comfortable with a girl who just says what I want to hear.” – Darren

The quotes above came from some random guys and they were listed under one heading, which is one of the tips for girls on What To Do. And from these quotes, the point here for the girls is to know your mind and heart.

The second tip was Develop respect for others. And boys also say something about it:

“I think respect is the most important thing at the start of a relationship. Love might develop later.” – Adrian

“If a girl can show respect for me, I feel that she can definitely love me.” – Mark

Third tip: Dress modestly, and maintain good hygiene. What boys say:

“A girl’s standard of dress says a lot about her attitude toward life. If she wears revealing or sloppy clothes, it tells me that she is desperate for attention.” – Adrian

“I am drawn to a girl who cares for her hair, smells pleasant, and has a soothing tone of voice. On the other hand, although I was attracted to one beautiful girl, her bad hygiene put an end to that.” – Ryan

“If a girl dresses provocatively, she’ll spark an initial attraction for sure. But that’s not the type of girl I want to start a relationship with.” – Nicholas

Next set of tips were about What Not To Do and guess what they include? Yes.. Don’t Flirt and Don’t be Clingy!!! (ehem ehem. jk lol) I won’t put all of what the boys say here, because I think it’s pretty straightforward and we girls should know it.  But here is one of the quotes:

“I think a girl is being to clingy if she needs to know my every move and seems incapable of having a social life or other interests aside from me.” – Darren

The last words on that chapter is I think the best tip of all and I liked it the best because it is so true and it includes a bible verse that support it.. The last tip is: Appreciate your own value. And under that heading one of the paragraphs says,

The fact is, not all boys will like you –and that can be a good thing! But if you are conscious of caring for both your outer beauty and inner beauty, you will have “great value in the eyes of God” –and you will attract the type of young man that will suit you best. –1 Peter 3:4.  🙂


Onto the next topic…… “Why don’t girls like me?” At first, I feel like not reading it because it’s really not for me (It’s for boys!) but I decided to read it anyways just to see if I agree with the answers and if I have the same opinions with other girls. And here are what I found, some of the quotes that I agree with:

“I definitely find it attractive if a boy displays good manners both in small things, like opening the door for me, and larger things, like being kind and considerate not only to me but also to my family.” – Tina

“Boys think that to attract girls they have to dress a certain way or have a certain look. While this is true to some degree, I think that many girls are more attracted to positive personality traits.” – Kate

“Gifts are great. But if a boy can hold a good conversation, if he can comfort and encourage you with his words… Wow! That’s attractive.” – Amy

“I would definitely want to get to know someone better if he had a sense of humor but could also talk about more serious things without sounding fake.” -Kelly

“I wish some boys would take on more responsibility. It’s  definite turn-off when they don’t. It doesn’t give a good impression.” – Carrie

“I can’t read minds. So if someone wanted to get to know me better, he would have to be honest and straightforward and just tell me.” – Nina

The bottomlines? The tips for guys were:

(for What To Do First)

1) Cultivate good manners

2) Maintain your personal hygiene

3) Cultivate conversation skills

4) Be responsible

(for The Next Step)

1) Take the initiative

2) Respect the girl’s decision

And of course the most important things not to do! DON’T FLIRT, AND DON’T TOY WITH A GIRL’S FEELINGS. (YEP. DON’T YA DARE. HEHEHE)

And also one last thing…. a quote that I liked the best and it’s worth sharing because I definitely agree with this person:

I don’t think a boy realizes how quickly a girl can become emotionally involved, especially if he is caring and easy to talk to. It’s not that she’s desperate. I just think that most girls want to fall in love and that they always have an eye out for ‘Mr. Right’,” 🙂 – Alison 


The last topic was about “How Do You Know if it’s Real Love?” and I think it’s a big topic to discuss about and I may just write another blog about it.. so I’ll end for now with this beautiful verse from the bible:

“Rather, it (beauty) should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle & quiet spirit which is of great worth in God’s sight.” -1 Peter 3:4 (NIV)


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